Why Family Carers Deserve Support, No Matter the Season: Advice from Debbie

Advice from the managing director of Unique Home Care NI

“Summer can be one of the busiest times of year. Parents are balancing school holidays, work commitments, family trips and trying to make memories with their children, all while continuing to care for an older relative.”

That is something Debbie Walton, Managing Director of Unique Home Care NI, sees families experience regularly.

Caring for someone you love may feel like the natural thing to do. You might collect their prescriptions, prepare meals, help around the house or call each evening to make sure everything is all right. You may not even think of yourself as a carer.

However, when children are off school, work routines change or a family holiday approaches, it can become much harder to keep everything going. Support for family carers is not about replacing the love only a family can provide. It is about making sure no one feels they have to carry every responsibility alone.

Why do family carers deserve support?

Family carers deserve support because caring can affect every part of daily life. Even when it is given willingly and with love, the responsibility can be physically and emotionally tiring. Having someone trusted to share part of that responsibility can help a family carer rest, protect their wellbeing and continue being there for the person they love.

As Debbie explains:

“That can bring a huge amount of pressure and often a lot of guilt. Caring for someone you love is incredibly rewarding, but it’s okay to admit that it’s also exhausting at times.”

Why can summer make caring feel more difficult?

Most families develop routines without really noticing them. Perhaps one person calls with groceries on a Monday, someone else collects a prescription, another relative visits after work or prepares meals for the week ahead.

These arrangements may work well until the usual routine changes. During summer, children are at home, annual leave needs to be shared and families may be trying to organise days out or a trip away. The care someone provides throughout the year suddenly has to fit around several other responsibilities.

That can leave family carers feeling pulled in different directions. They want to be there for a parent, partner or relative, but they also want time with their children and the opportunity to rest.

Is it okay to ask for extra help?

Yes. Asking for help does not mean you are giving up your role or passing someone you love over to somebody else. It simply means recognising that one person cannot always meet every need on their own.

Debbie says:

“I’d remind them that asking for help isn’t giving up; it’s making sure you’re able to keep caring in the long term. Every family carer deserves time to rest, recharge and spend time with their own family too.”

Support might be needed for a few hours, during a family holiday or as part of a more regular routine. There is no single point at which a family has to be “struggling enough” before they are allowed to ask.

Carers UK advises that taking a break can help carers rest and recharge. The right kind of break will be different for every person; it could be an hour each week, an occasional day or time away for a holiday.

Family carers should not have to reach complete exhaustion before support becomes an option.

Does taking a break mean leaving someone behind?

Taking a break from caring responsibilities is not the same as taking a break from the person you love. It may mean having time to take your children out for the day without checking your phone constantly. It could mean going on holiday knowing someone trusted will continue the usual visits. Sometimes, it simply means having a few quiet hours to rest.

Debbie understands why this can still create feelings of guilt:

“Looking after yourself doesn’t mean you’re letting someone down. It means you’re protecting your own wellbeing so you can continue to be there for the person you love.”

Respite care is one way families can arrange this support. It allows someone else to care for the person temporarily while their usual carer has time for themselves. This may involve a paid carer visiting the person at home for a regular period or providing short-term support while relatives are away.

The family relationship remains just as important. The additional support simply helps make it more sustainable.

What difference can a familiar carer make?

When family routines change, keeping other parts of the day familiar can provide valuable reassurance. A person may be used to having breakfast at a certain time, taking medication as part of a familiar routine or seeing the same relative on particular days.

Sudden changes can feel unsettling, especially for someone living with dementia or other complex needs.

Debbie says:

“Consistency is everything. A familiar face brings reassurance, trust and confidence, particularly for someone living with dementia or other complex needs. Keeping routines as normal as possible helps people feel secure, reduces anxiety and allows families to enjoy time away knowing their loved one is comfortable, cared for and surrounded by someone who genuinely knows them.”

A familiar carer understands more than the practical care plan. Over time, they learn how someone likes their tea, the conversations they enjoy, what may make them anxious and what helps them feel settled. That relationship can be reassuring for the whole family.

Can older relatives still be included in summer plans?

Families may sometimes decide that an older relative would be safer staying at home. They may be worried about mobility, medication, warmer weather, long journeys or whether the person will become tired.

Those concerns often come from love.

Debbie explains:

“I don’t think it’s through a lack of love; quite often, it’s the opposite. Families worry about the heat, mobility, medication, long journeys or simply whether their loved one will cope. Sometimes it feels easier to leave them at home rather than risk something going wrong.”

However, including someone does not always have to mean a long journey or a full day out. It could mean lunch in the garden, a shorter visit, an accessible trip nearby or a family afternoon in their own home.

The most important starting point is to involve the person in the conversation. Ask what they would enjoy and what might help them feel comfortable.

As Debbie puts it:

“With a little planning and the right support, many older people can still enjoy being part of those special summer moments. Feeling included is just as important as feeling safe.”

Good care should help someone continue enjoying the parts of life that matter to them. It should not focus only on what they can no longer do.

What type of support can families ask for?

The right support depends on the person, their normal routine and what the family is already managing.

It might include:

• Companionship and regular conversation

• Help preparing meals and drinks

• Personal care

• Medication support in line with the person’s care plan

• Light household help

• Support with familiar daily routines

• Short-term respite support during a holiday

  
  

Not every family needs a large or permanent package of care. Sometimes, a small amount of regular support is enough to make the week feel more manageable.

At Unique Home Care NI, our approach is based on understanding the whole person rather than arriving with a list of tasks.

Debbie founded Unique in 2017 because she wanted care to place greater value on time, dignity, relationships and people’s social and emotional needs.

Our minimum one-hour calls give carers time to support someone properly, move at their pace, notice changes and share a real conversation. They also give relatives reassurance that someone is taking the time to see how their loved one genuinely is.

How do you know when it may be time to ask for help?

There does not have to be a crisis. It may be worth discussing extra support when:

• You regularly cancel your own plans because nobody else can step in.

• Changes to work or school routines make care difficult to manage.

• You feel anxious about going away or leaving the person alone.

• Your relative would benefit from more regular company.

• You are trying to manage children, employment and caring responsibilities.

• Tiredness or worry is beginning to affect your own wellbeing.

• The person’s needs have changed or everyday routines are becoming harder.

• You feel as though everything depends on you.

  
  

Starting the conversation early gives everyone time to consider what would feel comfortable. It can also allow the person receiving support to get to know a new carer before relatives are away.

What is Debbie’s advice to a family feeling guilty?

Debbie’s message is simple: accepting support does not take away from the care you already provide.

“Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for everyone is accept a little support.”

Caring for someone can be deeply meaningful, but it can also be demanding. Both of those things can be true at the same time.

You are still their daughter, son, partner, relative or friend. You can continue sharing the conversations, memories and moments that belong to your relationship without having to manage every practical responsibility alone.

Support for family carers in Northern Ireland

Support for family carers is about finding a way to continue caring that also leaves room for your own health, family and life.

At Unique Home Care NI, we provide personalised home care, companionship and respite support across Belfast, Newtonards, County Down and surrounding communities. As an RQIA-registered home care provider, we believe good care should feel personal, dependable and never rushed.

Whether you need regular support or a little extra help while normal routines change, our team can talk through what may work for your family. You should not have to care alone.